Wednesday, May 21, 2008

If Bollywood Stars work in Call center

If Bollywood Film star work for call centers........ Imagine the calls.

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Amitabh:
Thank you for calling customer care... rishte mein to hum tumhare baap lagate hian filhaal ek customer care hain...
Customer: (angrily) I NEED YOUR MANAGER
Amitabh: Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere baap ko chor kaha tha.. Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne meri maa ko gaali dekar naukri se nikaal diya tha.. Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere haath pe yeh likh diya tha... uske baad uske baad mere bhai.. Tum jis manager ko kahoge main laaonga.


.
Join Me @ MHO
Dharmendra:
Thank you for calliiiiingg..
Customer:
I need help
Dharmendra:
main aaraahoon maa.......
Customer:
I am unable to use your product... its waste and worthless
Dharmendra:
Kutte mein tera khoon peejaaonga..
Customer:
What!!! I need your manager
Dharmendra:
(To his manager) Manager is customer ke saamne nahi naachna


Join Me @ MHO
Shatru
: Aaaaaiiin Kis ullllu ke patthe ne call kiya hai...
Customer
: How dare you speak like that
Shatru :
Khaaaamoshhhhh... seedhi tarah bolde issue kya hai warna... haaaaaaaaa!!!


Join Me @ MHO

Asrani:
hahhaaaaaaa naya kabutar ne call kiya
Customer:
I lost my invoice
Asrani :
Hahhaaaaaaaa hamare jasoos kone kone mein phaile hue hain miljayegi hum angrezon ke zamaane ke rep hain..haahhaaa


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Kestu Mukherji:
Iiiiiihhhhye....
Customer:
hi
Kestu Mukherji :
iiiihhhyeee tumko ....tumko kya problem hai
Customer :
I have not received my product
Kestu Mukherji :
To saale (hicup) main kya karoon.. Police mien report likha...

Join Me @ MHO
Bindu:
Shabnam naam hai mera... pyar se log shabbo bolte hain..bolo main tumhare kis kaam aasakti hoon.

Join Me @ MHO
Shakti:
AAAuuuuuu...mera naam hai balllllllllma. Thank you for calling aaauuuuu
Customer:
I need your manager
Shakti:
Mujhse baat karona.. Main ek chhota sa, nanha sa, pyarasa...rep hooon..

Join Me @ MHO
Mehmood:
Ayyo Dyevi ... thank youji for calling ji.. Ayyo
Customer :
I am not devi
Mehmood :
Ayyo muruga... ye dyevi nai ji ... ye to dyeva hai...


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Ajit:
Saara shehar mujhe Lion ke naam se jaanta hai..... May I know your name please
Customer : Mona
Ajit
: Mona darling... tumne hamein call kyun kiya
Customer
: (Angrily) I WANT YOUR MANAGER
Ajit:
Mona dear.. Agar hum tumhe hamara manager dedenge to hamein manage kaun karega....


Join Me @ MHO
Gabbar
: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ....Jo dargaya wo maraga... batao tumhen kya chahiye
Customer :
I want to buy a product from your company
Gabbar:
Kitne paise hai re
Customer
: $ 10.00
Gabbar:
Suvvar Ke baccho ... sirf... $10.00...dhikkaar hai


Join Me @ MHO
Prem Chopra:
Prem...Prem naam hai mera.. Prem chopra...
Customer :
I lost my invoice I need one
Prem Chopra:
Kar bhalaa to ho bhalaa..jaa apni invoice khud dhoondle


Join Me @ MHO
Rajkumar :
Jaani ..... Tumhara ye call bahut keemti hai.. Ise cut mat karna
Customer:
I lost my invoice
Rajkumar:
Jaani... ye invoice hai.. Bacchon ke khelne ki cheez nahi
Customer :
shut up.. I need my invoice sent to me in 10 minutes... otherwise I will speak to your manager
Rajkumar :
Dhamki kisi aur ko jaakar dena... manager humko darasake manager mein itna dum nahi... humse hai manager... manager se hum nahi...


Join Me @ MHO

And at las
t ..................Sharukh: Thank you for kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkCustomer hung up the phone..



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Thursday, May 15, 2008

MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENTS - CONTEST


There was a World wide survey of "Most Embarrassing Moment in human life" and the final three incidents are ...

Third Place.........A Boy of 18 Years
It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggy-back ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled "SURPRISE!". My entire family, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all of my friends were standing there! My girlfriend and I were frozen to the spot in a state of shock and embarrassment, for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no-one in my family has planned a surprise party again.

Second Prize ............A lady.......!
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my kid decided to release some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself right now, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee (dick) last night!". The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing! I mustered the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing that I heard as the door closed behind me was the screams of laughter.

And the Winner Is..............Student and Teacher..........?

This one actually happened at Harvard University in October last year. In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young female (freshman), raised her hand and asked, "If I understand what you are saying, there is a lot of glucose in male semen, as in sugar?" "That's correct." responded the professor, going on to add much statistical data. Raising her hand again, the sweet young thing asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl turned bright red and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and walked out of the class, and never returned. However, as she was going out of the door, the professor's reply was a classic. Totally straight-faced, he answered her question, "It doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not in the back of your throat!"



PLEASE ALL EMBARRASSING MOMENTS OF YOUR LIFE. LETS SEE IF YOU CAN BEAT THESE WINNERS.


Wednesday, May 14, 2008

LETS LAUGH-REAL LIFE JOKES

Reading Jokes is something good and everyone of us love to read jokes on SMS or email and many places. The only reason I started this blog is just to give you an opportunity to find all the latest jokes(Veg & Non-Veg) at one place.
So, keep reading and Laughing.

Ladki ki T-shirt par bani billi ko dekh, ladka gurrane laga.

Girl: Kyo.Kabhi BILLI nahi dekhi kya?

Boy: Billi to dekhi, Par dudh ki rakhwali karnewali pahlibar dekhi.


Amir and Kajol in blue film:

Mere lu.. ko teri tango ke bich panah mil jaye,

Tujhe mai itna chodu ki teri ch… Fanna ho jaye…


Shop ke bahar board: “Sale Sale Sale Underwear sirf Rs.1000”

Customer to shopkeeper: Ye underwear itni mahangi kyon hai, iski kya guarantee hai.

Shopkeeper: Ise pahno, phir samnewali building par chadh jao.

Customer chadh gaya .

Shpkeeper: Ab niche dekho. Gan… Phati naa..

Customer: Haa.. phati.

Shopkeeper: Lekin Underwear nahi phati….


Teen Sardars talking about AIDS:

1st: Mai to kabhi condom ke bina karta nahi.

2nd: Mai to ungali me bhi condom pahnata hun.

3rd: Mai to bilkul risk nahi leta. Padosise karwata hun.

Interviewer: what is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR

Manager asked to sardar at an interview
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.

Teacher to Sardar: Write your best friend's name in English.
Sardar wrote: ' Beautiful Red Underware'
Teacher: What?
Sardar: His name is Sundar Lal Chaddi

After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?

One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
So Sardar writes, "Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi.

Sardar was doing experiment with cockroach, first he cut it's one leg and told WALK. WALK. Cockroach walked. Then he cut it's second leg and told the same. Cockroach walked. Then cut the third leg and did the same. At last he cut it's fourth leg and ordered it walk! But cockroach didn't walk. Suddenly sardar said loudly, "I found it. If we cut cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf.

On a political rally sardar was arrested. Why??? A woman journalist walking with a badge wrote "PRESS" and He did it..

When sarda r was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver adjusted mirror. Sardar shouted, "You are trying to see my wife? Sit back. I will drive.

Sardar went in a hotel. To wash hands he went to the washbasin. There he started washing the basin. Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing. Sardar pointed towards the board " WASH BASIN "

Interviewer: just imagine your in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Sardar: its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!

Sardar declares:

.... . . I will never marry in my life&. . ..

.... . . I'll give same advice to my children also. . . .. .

=========================================

SARDAR talking on cell.

2ND SARDAR: kis se baat kar raho ho.

1ST: biwi se.....

2ND: itne... pyar se....?

1ST: tumhari hai. . .

==========================================

A donkey kicked sardar & ran away

sardar ran to catch the donkey. He saw a zebra & started beating it &

said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.

==========================================

SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.

1.Strength:My wife,Jeeto.

2.Weakness:Banta's wife,Preeto.

3.Oppurtunity:When Banta is on tour.

4.Threat:When I am on tour

======================================

sardar: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.

Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml

now it's 1.5 ltr.

===================================

On Jeeto's bday

Sardar had no money, so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses.

When he returns home Jeeto said: Thanks I got cheque cashed from bank manager.

======================================

teacher: make a sentence in which 1 word repeated 4 times

sardar: lara dutta marries brian lara and she becomes lara lara

====================================

Teacher: is line ki english banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gya.

Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan....

==========================================

Santa went to mysore palace.

Tourist guide - santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair

Santa - oye dont worry yaar i'll get up wen he comes.!!..
******************************************************

Sardar declares:

.... . . I will never marry in my life&. . ..

.... . . I'll give same advice to my children also. . . .. .

=========================================

SARDAR talking on cell.

2ND SARDAR: kis se baat kar raho ho.

1ST: biwi se.....

2ND: itne... pyar se....?

1ST: tumhari hai. . .

==========================================

A donkey kicked sardar & ran away

sardar ran to catch the donkey. He saw a zebra & started beating it &

said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.

==========================================

SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.

1.Strength:My wife,Jeeto.

2.Weakness:Banta's wife,Preeto.

3.Oppurtunity:When Banta is on tour.

4.Threat:When I am on tour
======================================

sardar: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.

Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml

now it's 1.5 ltr.

===================================

On Jeeto's bday

Sardar had no money, so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses.

When he returns home Jeeto said: Thanks I got cheque cashed from bank

manager.

======================================

teacher: make a sentence in which 1 word repeated 4 times

sardar: lara dutta marries brian lara and she becomes lara lara

====================================

Teacher: is line ki english banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gya.

Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan....

==========================================

Santa went to mysore palace.

Tourist guide - santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair

Santa - oye dont worry yaar i'll get up wen he comes.!!..

**************************************
Secret of long life...
Morning 2 eggs
Evening 2 pegs and
Night 2 legs
************************************************************************
Girl to Mom: when I see the neighbor's son, my bra tightens.
Mom: Next time, don't wear the bra, his pant would tighten
************************************************************************
A guy walks into a local pharmacy and walks up to the counter where a lady
pharmacist is filling prescriptions. When she finally gets around to helping
him he says, "I'd like 99 condoms please".
With a surprised look on her face the pharmacist says, "99 Condoms!?! Fuck
me!"
The guy replies, "Make it 100 then..."
***********************************************************************
What similar things would you want in your coffee and girl friend?
Should be hot
Should be rich
Should be creamy
Should be able to keep you awake all night!
************************************************************************
Santa: Have you ever fucked your girlfriend in the other hole?
Banta: Are you mad? She'll get pregnant
************************************************************************
Q:What's the biggest tragedy in the movie Sholay?
A: Well, first of all the Thakur's wife dies & then to make matter worse
Gabbar cut off Thakur's hand
************************************************************************
A prostitute goes to a Bank to deposit a 1000 rupee note. The teller
says,'Sorry Madam, the note is a fake.
''Oh my God! exclaimed the prostitute,'I have been raped.'
************************************************************************
Prostitute: doc, my hole is too big.
Doctor looks into the hole & says GOD...GOD...GOD...
Prostitute: Why are you repeating the word God?
Doctor: It was an ECHO!
************************************************************************
Doc: Why your knees all blistered ? Lady: Because of doggy style sex!
Doc: Can't you do it any other style? Lady: Oh, I can, Doc, but the dog
can't!
************************************************************************
One day a man goes to bank for withdrawing cash.
Lady cashier asked: So so ke loge?
Man replied: Khade khade bhi chalega.
************************************************************************
A Girl lodging a FIR report against the Rapist
Girl : Inspector saab, char mein ek ne mere breast pakde,
ek ne meri gand mari,
ek ne choda,
ek ne chooma.
Inspector : Bus kar, FIR likha rahi hai....
Ya land khada kar rahi hai.
************************************************************************
A lady lost 3 panties in her house.
She asked her husband but he didn't know.
Husband asked maid.
Maid replied: Saab, aapko to maloom hai mai aandar kuchh nahi pahanti.
************************************************************************
Man went to a bakery & asks
MAN : Abe pau hai kya?
BAKERYWALA : To kya madarchod, lund pe khada hu kya?
************************************************************************
Lady dashes a man while getting in the bus ....
Man : Apne santre sambhaliye ma'm, they disturb me.
Lady : (Angrily) Tumko kya, santre mere hai na.
Man : Haan par juice to mera nikal raha hai.
************************************************************************
Saas aur bahu me hamesha anban kyo?
Kyonki jis ladke ki underwear saas ne 25 saal sambhali Who bahu ne 2 minute
me utari.
************************************************************************
Teacher: Kya cheez muh mein nahin leni chahiye.
Student: Jalta hua bulb
Teacher: Why ?
Student: kal raat ko mummy papa se keh rdhi thi "Bulb bujha do to muh mein
loongi"
************************************************************************
Sardar : How u got pregnant without me?
Wife : I was praying ur ID photo daily.
Sardar : Chutiya banati hai, photo to passport size ka hai, samaan kahan
hai?
************************************************************************
Sardar with big tummy go for walk in lungi.
One girl jokingly ask : Ye matka kitne ka?
He lift lungi & says : Nul ke saath 450 ka.
************************************************************************
sardar havin sex with his wife when his condom went in.
wife asked: Ab kya hoga?
Sardar: kuchh nahi, bachcha pagdi ke saath aaega.
************************************************************************
Sardar : Maine ladka maanga tha ladki kaise ho gayi?
Sardarni : Tumhare bharose rahati to ye bhi nahi hoti.
***********************************************************************
Sardar : Lets try something different. Do it in ears.
Sardarni : Hohji, main behra ho gayi to?
Sardar : Aaj tak goongi hui kya?
************************************************************************
(A man visits his doctor and.....)
Man : Doc, mera khada nahi hota hai.
Doctor : do u have girlfriend?
Man : No
Doctor : Do u visit pros?
Man : No
Doctor : Do u go for mujra?
Man : No
Doctor : To khada karke uspar kya coat taangega?
************************************************************************
Interviewer: Why is a thicker conductor necessary
to carry a current in A.C.as compared to D.C. ?
Candidate: An AC current goes up and down
(drawing a sinusoid) and requires more space inside
the
wire, so the wire has to be thicker.
************************************************************************************

Interviewer: How will you tell if that wall
outlet carries AC or DC?
Candidate: I will put my finger in. If it is
pushed away, it is AC. If it gets stuck, it was DC.
************************************************************************************

Interviewer: How will you reverse direction of an
Induction motor?
Candidate: I will remove the four bolts at the
x-ud, turn the motor around, and put back the bolts.
************************************************************************************
Interviewer: How do y! ou start a synchronous
mo! tor?
Candidate: Vrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in rising
pitch)
Interviewer: Stop! Stop!
Candidate: rrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in falling
pitch)
************************************************************************************

Interviewer: How do you limit surge current within an
integrated
circuit?
Candidate: By using a miniature circuit breaker.
************************************************************************************
External (to student) : "Why does a capacitor block DC
but allow
AC To pass through ?
Student: See, a capacitor is like this ---| |--- ,
OK. DC comes straight, like this ----------,
and the capacitor stops it. But AC,goes UP, DOWN, UP
DOWN and
jumps right over the
capacitor!"
************************************************************************************
Examiner: "What is a step-up transformer?"
Student: "A transformer that is put on top of electric
poles."
Examiner (smiling): "And then what is a step-down
transformer?"
Student (hesitantly):"Uh - A transformer that is put
in the
x-udment or in a pit?"
Examiner (pouncing): "Then what do you call a
transformer that i! s
installed on the ground?"
(Student knows he is caught-can't answer)
Examiner (impatiently): "Well?"
Student (triumphantly): "A stepless transformer, sir!"

**************************************************************************************************************


TOP FACTS ABOUT ENGINEERS
************************************************************************************

Engineers at work:
Assignments solved by one and then carry out mass
transfer operations throughout the class
************************************************************************************

The most important machine for Engineers:
Xerox Machine (Without which assignment Completion
couldn't be possible)
************************************************************************************
Top two Engineering Rumours:
! Did you hear the results are being put up today at
5:30pm'
'Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks
************************************************************************************
The most dreaded acronym for Engineers: ATKT ( After
Trying Keep Trying)
************************************************************************************
Common Engineering Dialogues after a paper:
'What is this pal, 60% of the paper was out of the
syllabus' 'This was the worst paper set in the entire
engineering history' 'I am failing'
************************************************************************************
mere... Company kee ladkiyaan sunder hain Aur lonely hain...
Problem ye hai ki bus voh READ-ONLY hain...

Shayad mere pyar ko taste Karna bhool gaye...
Dil sey aisa CUT kiya ke PASTE karna bhool gaye..

Tumhare samne hain itney items Kabhi hame bhi pick karo...
Hamare pyar ke ICON pe Kabhi to tum DOUBLE-CLICK karo...

Roz subha hum karte hai Itne pyar se unhe good morning...
Woh humhe ghoor kar dekhte hain Jaise 0 ERRORS but 5 WARNINGS...

Ho gayi galti humse, Click ho gaya mouse
Duniya ki parwaah chhodo, ban jaao meri spouse!

Tumse mila main kal to, Mere dil mein hua ek sound,
Lekin aaj tum mili To kehti ho: Your file not found!

Ab aur kaho na tum, "but" ya "if"
Tum ho meri zindagi ki animated gif

Aysa bhi nahin hai ke, I don ' t likeyour face
Par dil ke computer mein, Nahin hai enough disk space

Ghar se nikalti ho tum jab, Pehen ke evening gown
Too many requests se, Ho jaata hai server down

Tumhaare liye pyaar ki application, Create main karoonga
Tum usse debug karna, Wait main karoonga

Tumhaara intezaar karte karte, Main so gaya
Yeh dekho mera connection, Time out ho gaya

Kya chaal hai tumhaari, Jaise chalti hai koi cat
What is your ICQ number, Aao karein chat

Tum jabse meri zindagi, mein aayi ho banke female,
Yaad raha na ab kuch, Na postman , Na e-Mail

Joh sadiyaon se hota aaya hai Woh repeat kar doonga...
Tu naa mili to tujhko dil sey Ctrl+Alt+Delete kar doonga...

Humse Kya Khata Hui Ki message Aanna Band Hai.......
Aap hi humse naraz hain ya Web Server band hai.......

Badli hai duniya , kuchch mein bhi badal gaya hoon
Pahle bekaar tha ab S/W Programmer ban gaya hoon

VC aaye to VB mein daal do,
VC aaye to VB mein daal do
seedhe seedhe sabko museebat mein daal do

Project extend ho gaya to kya ho jaata hai?
Are Tankha milti hai aur timepass ho jata hai..

teri yaad me sanam raat bhar humne to wine piya
teri yaad me sanam raat bhar humne to wine piya
kabhi offline to kabhi online piya

Pyar ke sitaare jab gardish mein hote hai
Pyar ke sitaare jab gardish mein hote hai
Laila ghar mein aur majnoo project testing kar rahe hote hai

*******************************************************
*******************************************************


This is a real story of a young college girl who passed away last month in
Chandigarh . Her name was Priya. She was hit by a truck.
She was work in g in a call center. She had a boy friend named Shankar.
Both of them were true lovers. They always talked on the phone.
You used to be never found without her without handphone. In fact she also
changed her cell connection from
Airtel to Hutch, so that both of them can
be on the same network, and save on the cost.

She used to spend half of the day talk in g with shankar.
Priya's family knew about their relationship.. Shankar was very close to
Priya's family as well. (Just
imag in e their
love) . Before she passed away she always told her friends 'If I pass away
please burn me with my handphone' she also said the same th in g to her
parents.

After her death, people cudnt carry her body, A lot of them tried to do so

but still cant everybody had tried to carry the body, the results were the
same. Eventually, they called a person known to one of their neighbours, who
can speak with the soul of dead person and who was a friend of her father.

He took a stick and
started speak in g to himself slowly.

After a few m in utes, he said 'this girl misses someth in g here.' Then her
friends told that person about her in tentions to burn her with her phone.
He then opened the grave box and place her phone and sim card in side the
casket. After that they tried to carry the body. It was then moved easily
and they then carried her in to the van.

All of us were shocked. Priya's parents did not in form Shankar that Priya
had passed away..



After 2 weeks Shankar
called Priya's mom.......

Shankar :....'Aunty, I'm com in g home today. Cook someth in g nice for me.
Don't tell Priya that I'm com in g home today, I wanna surprise her.'
Her mother replied..... 'You come home first, I wanna tell you someth in g
very
important.'

After he came, they told him the truth about Priya.
Shankar th in ks
that they were play in g a fool. He was laugh in g and said 'don't try to fool
me - tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for her... Please stop this nonsense'.

Then they show him the orig in al death certificate to him.
They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar started to sweat) He
said... 'Its not true. We spoke yesterday.. She still calls me.
Shankar was shak in g.

Suddenly, Shankar's phone rang. 'see this is from Priya, see this....'
he showed the phone to priya's family. all of them told him to answer. he
talked us in g the loudspeaker mode.

All of them heard his conversation.

Loud and clear, no cross l in es, no humm in g.

It is the actual voice of Priya & there is no way others could use her sim
card s in ce it is nailed in side the grave box

They were so shocked and asked
for the same person's
(who can speak with the soul of deal persons) help aga in . He brought his
master to solve this matter.

He & his master

worked for 5 hours.

Then they discovered one th in g which really shocked them....

Vodafone has the best coverage.

'Where ever you go, our network follows!!!'

===========================================================
A BIHARI WAS WORKING IN MUMBAI, AND DID NOT MEET HIS wife for four (4) years while his wife was in Patna ( Bihar).
At the end of 4 years he distributed sweets to his colleagues in office stating that his wife had delivered a son.

His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this 'Ha ppy event' happened when he had not seen his wife for four years...
The man said it is common in Bihar that neighbours take care of the wife (good Samaritans) when men are away.
The colleagues asked him, 'What name will you give to the son?'
The man explained,
'If its the second neighbour who has taken care,then the name would be 'DWIVEDI';

If it is the third neighbour then it would be 'TRIVEDI',

If it is the fourth neighbour then it would be 'CHATURVEDI';

If its the fifth neighbour then it would be 'PANDEY'...
After listening to this, questions followed.

What if it is a mixture of neighbours?
'Then the boy would be named 'MISHRA'...

And what if the wife is too shy to tell the name of the neighbour?
Then it would be 'SHARMA'...

But what if she refuses to divulge the name of the neighbour?
Then the name of the child would be 'GUPTA'...

If she does not remember the name then?
'It is YAAD-AV'

But who knows whether the child resulted from a rape?
Then it will be named 'DOSHI'...

Finally, if the child happened because of wife's burning desire?
Then he will be named 'JOSHI'...

And if the whole country had made efforts for the happy arrival?....
'DESHPANDEY.'

(blonde jokes, clean jokes, jokes com, short jokes, adult jokes, phone jokes, racist jokes, birthday jokes, lawyer jokes, hilarious jokes, humor jokes, funniest jokes, bush jokes, bad jokes, bar jokes, jokes one liners, polish jokes, sms jokes, sexist jokes, funny dirty jokes, office humor,story jokes)

Santa to Doctor: I have loose motions & I am not able to stop it.
Doctor: did you try lemon ?
Santa : yes , but whn i remove it , it starts again ….

Definition of Kiss
In GEOMETRY- Kiss is a shortest distance between two lips in 90 degree angle
In Economics - Kiss is the thing for which Demand is always higher than supply
In Physics - kiss is a process to charge body for other transmission
In I T - Kiss is just like a bluethooth in which 2 bodies are connected without any data cable


RULES & TIPS FOR GOOD HEALTH

BELOW ARE SOME QUESTIONS ABOUT HEALTH(& FITNESS) AND THEIR RESPECTIVE ANSWERS.

READ COMPLETE DETAILS IN THIS BLOG AND WRITE UR COMMENTS WITH MORE TIPS TO BE HEALTHY...

Qn: What are the thumb rules for a layman to take care of his heart?
Ans:
1. Diet - Less of carbohydrate, more of protein, less oil
2. Exercise - Half an hour's walk, at least five days a week; avoid lifts and avoid sitting for a longtime
3. Quit smoking

4. Control weight
5. Control blood pressure and sugar

Qn: Is eating non-veg food (fish) good for the heart?
Ans: No.

Qn: It's still a grave shock to hear that some apparently healthy person
gets a cardiac arrest. How do we understand it in perspective?
Ans: This is called silent attack; that is why we recommend everyone past the age of 30 to undergo routine health checkups.

Qn: Are heart diseases hereditary?
Ans: Yes

Qn: What are the ways in which the heart is stressed? What practices do you suggest to de-stress?
Ans: Change your attitude towards life. Do not look for perfection in everything in life.

Qn: Is walking better than jogging or is more intensive exercise required to keep a healthy heart?
Ans: Walking is better than jogging since jogging leads to early fatigue and injury to joints .

Qn: You have done so much for the poor and needy. What has inspired you to do so?
Ans: Mother Theresa , who was my patient.

Qn: Can people with low blood pressure suffer heart diseases?
Ans: Extremely rare

Qn: Does cholesterol accumulates right from an early age
(I'm currently only 22) or do you have to worry about it only after you are above 30 years of age?
Ans: Cholesterol accumulates from childhood.

Qn: How do irregular eating habits affect the heart ?
Ans: You tend to eat junk food when the habits are irregular and your body's enzyme release for digestion gets confused.

Qn: How can I control cholesterol content without using medicines?
Ans: Control diet, walk and eat walnut.

Qn: Can yoga prevent heart ailments?
Ans: Yoga helps.

Qn: Which is the best and worst food for the heart?
Ans: Fruits and vegetables are the best and the worst is oil.

Qn: Which oil is better - groundnut, sunflower, olive?
Ans: All oils are bad .

Qn: What is the routine checkup one should go through? Is there any specific test?
Ans: Routine blood test to ensure sugar, cholesterol is ok. Check BP, Treadmill test after an echo.

Qn: What are the first aid steps to be taken on a heart attack?
Ans: Help the person into a sleeping position , place an aspirin tablet under the tongue with a sorbitrate tablet if available, and rush him to a coronary care unit since the maximum casualty takes place within the first hour.

Qn: How do you differentiate between pain caused by a heart attack and that caused due to gastric trouble?
Ans: Extremely difficult without ECG.

Qn: What is the main cause of a steep increase in heart problems amongst youngsters? I see people of about 30-40 yrs of age having heart attacks and serious heart problems.
Ans: Increased awareness has increased incidents. Also, edentary lifestyles, smoking, junk food, lack of exercise in a country where people are genetically three times more vulnerable for heart attacks than Europeans and Americans.

Qn: Is it possible for a person to have BP outside the normal range of 120/80 and yet be perfectly healthy?
Ans: Yes.

Qn: Marriages within close relatives can lead to heart problems for the child. Is it true?
Ans : Yes, co-sanguinity leads to congenital abnormalities and you may not have a software engineer as a child

Qn: Many of us have an irregular daily routine and many a times we have to stay late nights in office. Does this affect our heart ? What precautions would you recommend?
Ans : When you are young, nature protects you against all these irregularities. However, as you grow older, respect the biological clock.

Qn: Will taking anti-hypertensive drugs cause some other complications (short / long term)?
Ans : Yes, most drugs have some side effects. However, modern anti-hypertensive drugs are extremely safe.

Qn: Will consuming more coffee/tea lead to heart attacks?
Ans : No.

Qn: Are asthma patients more prone to heart disease?
Ans : No.

Qn: How would you define junk food?
Ans : Fried food like Kentucky , McDonalds , samosas, and even masala dosas.

Qn: You mentioned that Indians are three times more vulnerable. What is the reason for this, as Europeans and Americans also eat a lot of junk food?
Ans: Every race is vulnerable to some disease and unfortunately, Indians are vulnerable for the most expensive disease.

Qn: Does consuming bananas help reduce hypertension?
Ans : No.

Qn: Can a person help himself during a heart attack (Because we see a lot of forwarded emails on this)?
Ans : Yes. Lie down comfortably and put an aspirin tablet of any description under the tongue and ask someone to take you to the nearest coronary care unit without any delay and do not wait for the ambulance since most of the time, the ambulance does not turn up.

Qn: Do, in any way, low white blood cells and low hemoglobin count lead to heart problems?
Ans : No. But it is ideal to have normal hemoglobin level to increase your exercise capacity.

Qn: Sometimes, due to the hectic schedule we are not able to exercise. So, does walking while doing daily chores at home or climbing the stairs in the house, work as a substitute for exercise?
Ans : Certainly. Avoid sitting continuously for more than half an hour and even the act of getting out of the chair and going to another chair and sitting helps a lot.

Qn: Is there a relation between heart problems and blood sugar?
Ans: Yes. A strong relationship since diabetics are more vulnerable to heart attacks than non-diabetics.

Qn: What are the things one needs to take care of after a heart operation?
Ans : Diet, exercise, drugs on time , Control cholesterol, BP, weight.

Qn: Are people working on night shifts more vulnerable to heart disease when compared to day shift workers?
Ans : No.

Qn: What are the modern anti-hypertensive drugs?
Ans : There are hundreds of drugs and your doctor will chose the right combination for your problem, but my suggestion is to avoid the drugs and go for natural ways of controlling blood pressure by walk, diet to
reduce weight and changing attitudes towards lifestyles.

Qn: Does dispirin or similar headache pills increase the risk of heart attacks?
Ans : No.

Qn: Why is the rate of heart attacks more in men than in women?
Ans: Nature protects women till the age of 45.

Qn: How can one keep the heart in a good condition?
Ans : Eat a healthy diet, avoid junk food, exercise everyday, do not smoke and, go for health checkup s if you are past the age of 30 ( once in six months recommended) ...
(health, women's health, womens health, health and fitness, health articles, health and wellness, health alliance, health food store, public health, banner health, health clubs, sport and health, health promotion, good health, health spa, wellness, healthy)

MOST COSTLIST THINGS IN THE WORLD

Most expensive cocktail: 15,250 pounds a pop
The world's most expensive cocktail contains a diamond ring instead of an olive! The drink, created by Harvey Nichols in Manchester, has to be escorted to diner's tables flanked by security guards. The dazzle cocktail contains a six and a half carrot pink tourmaline and diamond ring set in 18-carrot white gold. The drink was the brainchild of senior bartender Jay Malik, 24, who was asked to devise a drink to fit with the restaurant's Pink Dinners month. A special safe has been brought in for the bar to keep the rings in and customers can choose any ring they want from the range - the most expensive being a 27,000 pounds sterling two-carrot engagement ring. cocktail list, cocktail book, cocktail server, cocktail history, rum cocktail, gin cocktail, cocktails drinks, bloody mary cocktail, frozen cocktail, zombie drink, cocktail drinks, cocktail ingredients, popular cocktails, vesper cocktail, tequila cocktails.

Most expensive shoes: 1 million pounds
Would you feel like a princess or what when you wear something worth 1m pounds? The most expensive shoes in the world were on sale at Harrods in London. After a photo-call for the press, the shoes were locked away in a bullet-proof case where they will be guarded round-the-clock. The shoes, inspired by the ruby slippers from The Wizard of Oz, were woven from platinum thread and set with 642 rubies. They were designed by Stuart Weitzman. (earth spirit shoes, colin stuart shoes, miu miu shoes, vaneli shoes, unisa shoes, wolky shoes, airwalk shoes, taryn rose shoes, taryn rose shoes, j renee shoes, kenzie shoes, mezlan shoes, discount shoe, delman shoesshiekh shoes, soft spot shoes, two lips shoes, formal shoes.)

Most expensive hair cut: 1,925 pounds
If you want London stylist Lee Stafford to cut your hair, make sure you are extra loaded. He calls it a "couture cut". And the only place where you can get one is his house. Champagne, hors d'oeuvres and a follow-up trim as part of the package.

Most expensive house: 70 million pounds
This one is hardly a secret: The infamously lavish new estate in England known as Updown Court in Windlesham, north Surrey. 103 rooms, 58 acres, a private helipad, five swimming pools. Forbes.com put the mansion at the top of its list of "the priciest residences on the planet" which are for sale. (bright house, white house, full house, random house, find new house, house buyers, house buyers)

Most expensive tea bag: 7,500 pounds
To celebrate PG Tips 75th birthday, Boodles jewelers produced this tea bag. It took three months to make and has been hand-crafted using 280 diamonds. Pete Harbour, spokesman for PG Tips has been quoted: "As it's our 75th birthday, we wanted to do something special to remind people just how much they love the great British cup of tea." (tea paper, tea paper, herb tea, ginseng tea)

Most expensive jeans: Over $ 4,000
They wanted to be "the Mercedes-Benz, the Maybach of the denim industry". And APO jeans have done just that with a pair costing as much as $ 4,000 or more. They offer mens and ladies jeans with Silver Buttons and Rivets at $1,000, 14k White or Yellow Gold Button and Rivets at $1,500, Platinum Button and Rivets at $3,250, and the Diamond Button and Rivets start at $4,000. All Jeans will come with Authenticity Number as well as an Appraisal Sheet from a top Jeweler in the NY diamond district. Of course, you could buy the economy version: they run only $1,000 a pair. APO jeans are constructed from denim woven in India that costs $40 a yard, compared with the $2- to $3-per-yard cost of materials for most designer denim. Buttons and rivets are made with precious metals or, if a customer is willing to shell out $4,000 or more, up to a dozen white diamonds on the main button.(expensive jeans, expensive clothing brands, expensive clothing designers, expensive clothing, expensive pants, expensive designer jeans, expensive clothes, womens jeans, fashion jeans, teen jeans, luxury jeans)

Most expensive watch: $11 million
One of the most complicated watches ever made, it also became the most expensive watch ever sold when it was hammered down for $11 million at Sotheby's.
The gold pocket watch features 24 complications, (Complications are mechanical functions of the watch other than the hours, minutes and seconds.)

Most expensive phone: 28, 000 pounds
Peter Aloisson, who makes phones covered in gold and diamonds for affluent clients, is the man responsible for making the most expensive phone ever. It costs more than a BMW 3-series convertible, or a Jaguar S-Type. A Motorola covered in 1200 diamonds and featuring a keyboard soaked in 18-carat gold, the phone is priced at 28, 000 pound sterling. The new phone beat the previous record held by another Aloisson 'Diamante' phone - an identical model featuring a paltry 950 diamonds laid into the gold bodywork. That phone retailed for 23, 000 pound sterling. "The people who buy my phones don't have to worry about security - they all have bodyguards," he told UK tabloid The Sun.

Most expensive nail polish: $250
How special could you feel by wearing sheer nail polish that has platinum dust in it? And how many people would be mad enough to do that? Many! The 'I Do' polish, the most expensive in the world, is a collaboration by Allure magazine, platinum supplier Johnson Matthey, PGI and Essie Cosmetics. The polish costs $250 per bottle. However, the first bottle was displayed in special bottle made with a platinum top and base that is valued at $55,000.

Most expensive tie: 1 crore
When fully dressed Salman Khan paraded on a red ramp displaying the most expensive tie in the world, the picture was splashed all over the globe. The tie, studded with 261 diamonds of 77 carat each and made of pure silk with 150 grams of gold, is priced at a whopping Rs 1 crore. It is designed by Satya Paul and the Suashish Diamond group.

Most expensive perfume: 47,500 pounds
At 47,500 pound sterling, it is the world's most expensive perfume. Indeed, the best things come in small packages. The fragrance, created by renowned British perfumer Arthur Burnham, is held in a 4 in bottle made with platinum, 24 carat gold, rubies and diamonds.
Encasing the bottle is a very special box constructed by Rolls-Royce coach builders, locked with a gold and jewel-studded key. Inspired by the Rolls-Royce Phantom Six, it is called Parfum VI. Who pays pounds 47,500 for a bottle of perfume? Michael Jackson has ordered two and Mike Tyson three. Only 173 are being made.

Most expensive pen: $265,000
Swiss company Caran d'Ache made 'La Modernista Diamonds' a pen that was sold in Harrods, London, for $265,000. Created in memory of architect Antonio Gaudi, the rhodium-coated solid silver pen has an 18-karat gold pen point and is pave-set with 5,072 diamonds and 96 half-cut rubies.

Most expensive work of art: $104 million
A masterpiece by Pablo Picasso, painted in 1905 when he was just 24 years old, became the most expensive piece of art ever sold when it went under the hammer at Sotheby's in New York for $104m. The painting, Garcon a la Pipe (Boy with a Pipe) is one of the most important early works by the artist ever to appear on the market.
[cocktail list, cocktail book, cocktail server, cocktail history, rum cocktail, gin cocktail, cocktails drinks, bloody mary cocktail, frozen cocktail, zombie drink, cocktail drinks, cocktail ingredients, popular cocktails, vesper cocktail, tequila cocktails. earth spirit shoes, colin stuart shoes, miu miu shoes, vaneli shoes, unisa shoes, wolky shoes, airwalk shoes, taryn rose shoes, taryn rose shoes, j renee shoes, kenzie shoes, mezlan shoes, discount shoe, delman shoesshiekh shoes, soft spot shoes, two lips shoes, formal shoes. bright house, white house, full house, random house, find new house, house buyers, house buyers, tea paper, tea paper, herb tea, ginseng tea, expensive jeans, expensive clothing brands, expensive clothing designers, expensive clothing, expensive pants, expensive designer jeans, expensive clothes, womens jeans, fashion jeans, teen jeans, luxury jeans]

Thursday, May 8, 2008

LAWS OF LIFE(life quotes, life expectancy, tree of life, life magazine,life purpose, young life)

1. Love Is The Law Of Life: All love is expansion, all selfishness is
contraction. Love is therefore the only law of life. He who loves
lives, he who is selfish is dying. Therefore, love for love's sake,
because it is law of life, just as you breathe to live.

2. It's Your Outlook That Matters: It is our own mental attitude,
which makes the world what it is for us. Our thoughts make things
beautiful, our thoughts make things ugly. The whole world is in our
own minds. Learn to see things in the proper light.

3. Life is Beautiful: First, believe in this world - that there is
meaning behind everything. Everything in the world is good, is holy
and beautiful. If you see something evil, think that you do not
understand it in the right light. Throw the burden on yourselves!

4. It's The Way You Feel:
Feel like Christ and you will be a Christ;
feel like Buddha and you will be a Buddha. It is feeling that is the
life, the strength, and the vitality, without which no amount of
intellectual activity can reach God.

5. Set Yourself Free:
The moment I have realized God sitting in the
temple of every human body, the moment I stand in reverence before
every human being and see God in him - that moment I am free from
bondage, everything that binds vanishes, and I am free.

6. Don't Play The Blame Game: Condemn none: if you can stretch out a
helping hand, do so. If you cannot, fold your hands, bless your
brothers, and let them go their own way.

7. Help Others:
If money helps a man to do well to others, it is of
some value; but if not, it is simply a mass of evil, and the sooner it
is got rid of, the better.

8. Uphold Your Ideals: Our duty is to encourage every one in his
struggle to live up to his own highest idea, and strive at the same
time to make the ideal as near as possible to the Truth.

9. Listen To Your Soul:
You have to grow from the inside out. None can
teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but
your own soul.

10. Be Yourself.




ASSUMPSIONS
Assumptions are essential. Without them, we would be paralyzed by the need to think through every little detail of life. We depend heavily on our assumptions, so it is important that they be accurate. Often we become so accustomed to and familiar with our assumptions that we rarely even think to question them.
Yet conditions change. People change. You change. The world changes. You may still be acting on assumptions you originally developed years ago. There's a good chance that many no longer hold true.life, life quotes, life expectancy, tree of life, life magazine, life magazine, life purpose, young life, grounded for life, life lessons, abundant life, life sucks, lifes
What have you done lately to examine and challenge your assumptions? Like a ship's anchor, your assumptions can keep you steady and stable. Yet if a ship is to be useful, it must sail. To do that the anchor must be regularly raised and the sails unfurled.
If you hold too firmly to your assumptions, you're likely to get stuck in one place. Make it a point to regularly challenge those assumptions. Some will survive the challenge and continue to prove valuable. Others you'll find you need to discard. Free yourself from worn-out assumptions, keep your thinking fresh, and move your life forward.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

REAL LIFE QUOTES & STORIES



There is a classroom of some small children (5-7yrs),
with a genius boy ( Bablu ) and a smart one (Pappu).The dialogue between the two and the teacher goes something like this:
Bablu: "Teacher, teacher! Is Bus male or female?
Teacher : Thinking.......
Pappu: "Teacher, teacher! It is female"
Bablu : "Kyon?"
Pappu: "Kyon ki sab log uspe chadte hain."
Teacher is pareshan. While Bablu gets in doubt.
Bablu: "Agar bus female hai aur sab uspe chadte hain to uske bacche kyon nahin hote?"

Teacher is more pareshan.

Pappu: "Kyon ki sab us par peeche se chadte hain."

Teacher is now hiding her face.Bablu gets another doubt.
Bablu: "Maana sabhi peeche se chadte hain, but driver aur conductor to aagay se chadte hain. Phir bachche kyon nahin hote?"

Teacher is sweating as it is getting too much to handle.

Pappu replies : "Kyon ki woh dono topi pehanke chadte hain."

Teacher faints !!!!!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Once X asked Y, "What is the secret behind your happy married life?"

Y said, "You should share responsibilities with due love and respect
to each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."

X asked, "Can you explain?"

Y said, "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my
wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's
decisions."

Still not convinced, X asked Y "Give me some examples"

Y said," Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amount
to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner,
refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc
are decided by my wife. I just agree to it"

X asked, "Then what is your role?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An Obedient Wife


There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real 'miser' when it came to his money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife...'When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.'

And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said,

'Wait just a moment!'

She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away. So her friend said,

'Girl, I know you were not fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband.'

The loyal wife replied, 'Listen, I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him.'

You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?'


'I sure did,' said the wife. 'I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a check.... If he can cash it, then he can spend it.'

To every clever female and to all men who think they are smarter than women!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PRICELESS WORDS

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first th in g he sees is a couple of aspir in s and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his cloth in g in front of him, all clean and
pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order,spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspir in s and notices a note on the table.
"Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopp in g.
Love You!"
Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morn in g newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eat in g. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious.
Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled in to the door". Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everyth in g in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table wait ing for me?
I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said,
"LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"
Moral
Self- in duced hangover - $ 400.00
Broken crockery - $ 800.00
Breakfast - $ 10.00
Say in g the Right Th in g While Drunk - "PRICELESS "
There are truly some th in gs that both money and Mastercard can't buy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A father put his three year old daughter to bed,
Told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by say in g

"God bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa."

The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?"

The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the th in g todo."

The next day grandpa died.

The father thought it was a strange co in cidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and

listened to her prayers, which went like this:

"God bless Mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma."

The next day the grandmother died.
Oh my god, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.

Several weeks later when the girl was go in g to bed the dad heard her say,

"God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy."

He practically went in to shock.

He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his

office.

He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock.

He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay.

He felt safe in the office, so in stead of go in g home at the end of the day

he stayed there,

look in g at his watch and jump in g at every sound.

F in ally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said
"I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?"

He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my

life."

She said "You th in k you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened

HERE.

He asked "What"??????

She said "
This morning our neighbour James suddenly died."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1

Long time back,
people who sacrificed their sleep,
forgot their family,
forgot their food,
fogot laughter were called
"Saints"

Now they are called..

"IT professionals"


2

An interesting line written at the back of a Biker's T Shirt:

" If you are able to see this, Please tell me that my g
irlfriend has fallen off"


3.
Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..

Love is always present..

Its just that,
One loves too much,

and

The other loves too many,


4.
Employee: Boss, Now i have got married..! Please increase my salary..!
BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occuring outside the company..!



5.

Philosophy of life
At the begining of married life, every gal treats her husband as GOD,
Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!


6.

What is a Fear?
Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach
When pages of your book still smell new
and
Just few hours left for your exams..!


7.

Jus4Fun
Someone has rightly said, "A fool can ask More questions than a wise man can answer"
No Wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!


8.
Girl: Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?
Shopkeeper: Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says "To the only boy I ever loved.!"
Girl: Thats good, Give me 12 of them..!



9
After reading the form filled by an applicant.. The employer said: " WE do have an opening for you..!
Applicant: What is it?
Interviewer: Its called the "door..!"


10
A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..
Drive Slowly, Dont kill our Employees...
..... Leave them to us

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MBA Vs Graduate Student

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition
organized in Britain and this joke was sent by an Indian......

A MBA and a Graduate go on a camping trip, set up their tent,and fell asleep.
Some hours later, the Graduate wakes his MBA friend. " look up at the sky and
tell me what you see."
The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

The MBA ponders for a minute.
Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies
and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and
insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it tell you?" The Graduate is silent for a moment, then speaks.



"Practically...Someone has stolen our tent".


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Coca-Cola was originally green.

3. The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they

start with.

4. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

5. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States ..

6. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters

only on one row of the keyboard.

7. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!

8. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath..

9. It is impossible to lick your elbow.

10. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you

Sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.

11. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

12. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the

toughest tongue twister in the English language.

13. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to

Suppress a sneeze; you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck

and die.

14. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from

History. "Spades" - King David; "Clubs" - Alexander the Great;

" Hearts" - Charlemagne; "Diamonds" - Julius Caesar.

15. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321

16. If a statue of a warrior on a horse has both front legs

in the air, the person died in battle. If the

horse has one front leg

in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.

If the horse has a all four legs on the ground, the person died of

natural

causes.

17 What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and

laser printers all have in common?

Ans. - All invented by women.

18. Honey - This is the only food that doesn't spoil.

19. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

20. A snail can sleep for three years.

21. All polar bears are left handed.

22. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive

from each salad served in first-class.

23. Butterflies taste with their feet.

24. Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

25. In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

26. On average, female fear spiders more than they do death.

27. Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.

28. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

29. The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

30. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

31. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the

body to squirt blood 30 feet.

32. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over

million descendants.

33. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in

your ear by 700 times.

34. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

35. Most lipstick contains fish scales.

36. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different

---------------

Boss:

Arz kiya hai.........

Office may Kaam hote ha in ...
Galtiyon ka sama hota hai....
Aise mausam me in hi to PERFORMANCE jawan hota hai....
Dil ki khunnas BOSS jabaan se nahi kehte...
Ye fasana to appraisal me in bayan hota hai....

Employee's reply...

Arz kiya hai.........
Appraisal hote ha in ...
Disappo in tment ka sama hota hai...
Aise mausam me in hi to Attrition jawan hota hai....
Dil ki khunnas HUM jabaan se nahi kehte...
Ye fasana to resignation se bayan hota hai.... (Wah wah ... wah wah ... wah wah ....)

----------

Is Bus male or female?

There is a classroom of some small children (5-7yrs),

with a genius boy ( Bablu ) and a smart one (Pappu).The

dialogue between the two and the teacher goes

something like this:

Bablu: "Teacher, teacher! Is Bus male or female?

Teacher : Thinking.......

Pappu: "Teacher, teacher! It is female"

Bablu : "Kyon?"

Pappu: "Kyon ki sab log uspe chadte hain."

Teacher is pareshan. While Bablu gets in doubt.

Bablu: "Agar bus female hai aur sab uspe chadte hain

to uske bacche kyon nahin hote?"

Teacher is more pareshan.

Pappu: "Kyon ki sab us par peeche se chadte hain."

Teacher is now hiding her face.Bablu gets another

doubt.

Bablu: "Maana sabhi peeche se chadte hain, but driver

aur conductor to aagay se chadte hain. Phir bachche

kyon nahin hote?"

Teacher is sweating as it is getting too much to

handle.

Pappu replies : "Kyon ki woh dono topi pehanke chadte

hain."

Teacher faints !!!!!!!


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

GOOD QUOTES

Surround yourself only with people who are going to lift you higher.

There is nothing worth the wear of winning, but laughter and the love of friends

How lucky I am to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye to

I have nothing to offer u in this world. Its only my.. . . . . LOVELY FRIENDSHIP

Sun very hot Moon too far So God gave me u to feel 'I've my own little Universe

A frnd is some1 who can c d truth nd pain in u evn wn u r fooling everyone else.

Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you

A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have

A true frnd is some1 who knows ders somthng wrong evn wn u ve d biggest smile!!

The recipe of frndship.. 1 Cup of Sharing 2 Cups of Caring 3 Cups of Forgiveness

Frnd is sme1 who tels u thngs while u r alive,thngs tht othrs tl aftr u die!

Friend is like fart, nuisance 4others but comfrt 4me. Thnx 4 being gas of my ass

Every mrng I pray 2 God every1 shld have a friend like u. Y shld only I suffer!

2 ppl cnt wish 2 b frnds long if dey cnt manage 2 4give each othrs minor failngs

Fr’ship is a Gift when new, a Miracle when it's true, but a blessing when it's U

A circle is round it has no end, that's how long I want to be your friend!

Dear Customr,V wud lyk 2 inform u tht ur true frnd___is misng u a lt.Thank u!

Few Relations In Earth Never Die…That’s what Friend stands 4!

some like goldenship some like silvership but i like one ship that is friendship

True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable.

Side by side or miles apart, dear friends r always close 2 the heart.

A smile mk us luk youngr…whle prayrs mk us feel strongr n frnds mk us enjoy 4evr

My friendship with you ………..ends only when this msg comes to an end…… I REPEAT!!

A brother is not always a friend, but a friend is always a brother.

Hvng frnds is d best thng tht can evr happen,hvng u is d best thng i ever did!

Our frnd$hip i$ j$t lyk WATER no color no $hape no ta$te Bt i$ Imp 4 livng!

1 Advice- Dn’t change, 1 wish- Dn't 4get me, 1 hope- V'll always be Gd Friends

U R Cheese 4 pizza..butter 4 bread..leaf 4 tree..FRIEND like u is 4ever 4 ME!

God asked: Hell or Heaven? I said Hell. Y? For“U”! Coz that’s where U will be!

Good frnds r like stars U don't always see them, but u know they r always there

Square -4 ends, Triangle -3 ends, Line -2 ends. Circle of our friendship -NO end

Friendship is not collection of hearts but it is selection of hearts.

A ring is round and has no end, that's how long I'll be your friend!

1000 of frnds I mk,Evry1's hand I shake.Bt real frds r few n d best is ……U

Three lights savng d earth from d dark 1 "sunlight" 2 " moonlight" 3 its U!!

A friendship that stops existing,was actually never there.

Don't Love a Friend who Hurts U Don't Hurt a Friend who Loves U.

What's wrng wid ur mobile? It says Subscriber u r trying 2 reach is in ur heart

The secret to friendship is being a good listener.

A memory lasts 4ever & nvr does it die. True friends stay 2gthr & nvr say gd bye

Life without friendship is like the sky without sun.

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out!!

There can be no Friendship where there is no Freedom - Happy Friendship Day

D tyms v shard is lke shootng star.d tym is short bt realy beautiful moments.

Sugar melts in water, plz don`t walk in rain. I may lose a sweet friend like u!!

Longest love is mother's love, but strongest love is friend's love…like u n me!

Stay with me, I'll stay with you and we'll be friends, through and through.

Friendship is a single soul living in two bodies.

Promise you won't forget me, because if I thought you would, I'd never leave.

Without love, life is hopeless. But without friends like u, life is impossible

Never do a wrong thing to make a friend or to keep one.

Do your feet never hurt ???? ... You are wondering around my thots al day long!

Be smart, be clever, put me in your heart, 4ever - Happy Friendship Day

How lucky I am to have known someone who is so hard to say goodbye to

In prosperity, our friends know us; in adversity, we know our friends

Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow-ripening fruit

Friends are like stars..you don't see them all the time, but you know they r der

Ice is a cream, luv is a dream but our friendship is evergreen.

My heart problem has become critical. Doctor says 2 options I.C.U or U C me

Frndship is nt a big fire whch burns al day.Its a smal lamp,tht burns tl d end !

Friendship is the golden thread that ties the heart of all the world

If you should die before me, ask if you can bring a friend.

With clothes the new are best, with friends the old are best

Books, like friends, should be few and well chosen.

Remember, v al stumble,every 1 of us.Thts y it is a comfort 2 go hand in hand!

Friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life.

A true friend is greatest of all blessings, but we take least care to acquire

A friend is someone with whom you dare to be yourself.

Treat your friends as you do your pictures and place them in their best light

A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else.

Blessings come in many ways but the best come as friends.U R A BLESSING 2 ME

True frndship is lke sound health;d value of it is seldom knwn until it b lost!

When I find myself fading, I close my eyes and realize my friends are my energy.

Friendship often ends in luv; but luv in friendship -NEVER- Happy Friendship Day

Purchase not friends by gifts; when thou ceasest to give, such will cease to luv

True Friendship brings sunshine to the shade & shade to the sunshine.

A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself

Your the kind of friend that only heaven could have sent.Thanks for being a frnd

We lose people we love but we never lose true friends. Thank God I got u.

Though my words r few;my heart is true.Frnds I can mk new,bt none r as swt as u!

Friends are like medication; they make you feel better when you're down.

Life is partly what we make it, and partly made by friends whom we choose.

The ship that will never sink is my friendship with you. thanks 4 being my FRND!

ABCDEFGHI . . . . U V W X Y Z. Dekha I aur U ke beech mein sabko tapka diya

A friend is someone who knows all about you... and loves you anyway.

Hindi - DOST German - FREUND French - AMi Mexican - AMiGO Friend 4ME is just “U”

A true friend reaches and cures problems quicker than a doctor can!!

True friendship is like sound health; its value is seldom known until it be lost

Saw my msg? No? Now can u? Still can't? coz no words can xpress how special u r!

Friends r those rare people who ask how u r and then wait to hear the answer

(stories, short stories, enema stories, diaper stories, free taboo stories, adult stories, today's top news stories, international news stories, funny news stories, story ideas, toy story 2, love stories, googlenews, world news headlines, word search program, romantic stories, story of the world, greatest story ever told, life story, sad story, the news times, word search puzzle making, build word search, novels, poems, poetry, writing, storytelling, literature, bedtime story, radiata stories, westside story.famous quotes, inspirational quotes, motivational quotes, stock quotes, friendship quotes, movie quotes, quotes about life, birthday quotes, wedding quotes, family guy quotes, mark twain quotes, quotes on life, famous movie quotes, dane cook quotes, famous inspirational quotes, famous inspirational quotes, auto quote)

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In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini Skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket.
As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover she still couldn't!
So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her legbecause of the tight skirt. So, with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give little more slack and again was unable to make the step.
About this time the big Texan that was behind her in the line Picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus.
Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero, Screeching at him, "How dare you touch my body!! I don't even know who you are!"
At this the Texan drawled "Well ma'am normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we was friends."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mrs. Harper hires a maid with beautiful blonde hair. The first morning, the girl pulls off the hair and says, "I wear a wig, because I was born totally hairless. Not a hair on my body, not even down there."
That night, Mrs. Harper tells her husband. He says, "I've never seen anything like that. Please tomorrow, ask her to go into the bedroom and show you. I want to hide in the closet so I can have a look."
The next day, Mrs. Harper asks the girl, the two of them go into the bedroom, and the girl strips and shows her. Then the girl says, "I've never seen one with hair on it. Can I see yours?"
So Mrs. Harper pulls off her clothes and shows her. That night, Mrs. Harper says to her husband, "I hope you're satisfied, because I was pretty embarrassed when that girl asked to see mine."
Her husband says, "You think you were embarrassed...I had the four guys I play poker with in the closet with me."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A woman went to her shrink because she was having severe problems with her sex life. The psychiatrist asked her many questions but did not seem to be getting a clear picture of her problems. Finally he asked, "Do you ever watch your husband's face while you are having sex?"
"Well, yes, I actually did once." "And how did your husband look?"
"Angry, very angry."
At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere and he said, "Well that's very interesting, we must look into this further. Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your husband's face once during sex; that seems somewhat unusual. How did it occur that you saw his face that time?"
"He was looking through the window at us!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

BRUCE LEE

What is dead Bruce Lee's name?- Dead Lee.

What is live Bruce Lee's name?- Live Lee? No...it's Bruce Lee.

What is Bruce Lee's Favorite dog? - Ju Lee

What is Bruce Lee's favorite vegetable? - Mu Lee (Radish in Hindi)

What is Bruce Lee's mother's name?- Mau Lee.

Who is the greatest fan of Bruce Lee? - Malaya Lee

What does Bruce Lee like to have for lunch ?- Tha Lee

What happens to the theatre once a Bruce Lee movie is over ? - Kha Lee

What is Bruce Lee's sister-in-law's name ? - Saa Lee

Bruce Lee's favorite food - Id Lee

Bruce Lee's favorite festival - Diwa Lee

Bruce Lee's favorite holiday spot - Mana Lee

Bruce Lee's favorite tree - Im Lee

Bruce Lee's favourite Actress - Sona lee

Bruce Lee's favourite Music - Qawa lee

What is Bruce Lee's most interesting job? - co Lee (Coolie)

When did Bruce Lee die? - Final Lee (finally)

How did Bruce Lee die?- with a Go Lee (Goli=bullet)

What is Bruce Lee's elder sister's name?- Thor Lee.

What is Bruce Lee's younger sister's name?- Dhak Lee.

What do u call BRUCE LEE's fingers :UNGLEE

Fav amitabh bachan movie :COOLIE

Fav shamii kappor movie :JUNGLEE

stomach:BELLY fav

Jeans:LEE

His gardner : MALI fav

Vegetable:MULI

Fav dessert:JELLY

Fav cartoon:MUTLEY

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

CLASSIC DEFINATIONS

Cigarette
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

Love affairs
Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

Marriage
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

Divorce
Future tense of marriage

Lecture
An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

Conference
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears
The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..

Dictionary
A place where divorce comes before marriage.

Conference Room
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

Ecstasy
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

Classic
A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile
A curve that can set a lot of things straight

Office
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc...
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience
The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb
An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist
A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Pessimist
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .

Miser
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father
A banker provided by nature.

Criminal
A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

Boss
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

STORY 1

A girl and a boy were on a motorcycle, speeding through the night.
They loved each other a lot.....
Girl:"slow down a little.. I'm scared.."
Boy: "No, it's so fun.."
Girl: "please..it's so scary.."
Boy: "Then say that you love me.."
Girl: "Fine..I love you..can you slow down now?"
Boy: "Give me a big hug.."
The girl gave him a big hug.
Girl: "Now can you slow down?"
Boy: "Can you take off my helmet and put it on? It's uncomfortable and
it's bothering me while I ride."
The next day, there was a story in the newspaper. A motorcycle had crashed
into a building because its brakes were broken. There were two people on the
motorcycle, of which one died, and the other had survived...
(The guy knew that the brakes were broken. He didn't want to let the girl
know, because he knew that the girl would have gotten scared. Instead, he
was told the last time that she loved him,got a hug from her, put his helmet
on her so that she can live, and die himself...)
Once in a while, Right in the middle of an ordinary life, Love gives us a
fairy tale...
Message "Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you
hold well"

STORY 2

Nurse: "It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 am, when an elderly
gentleman, in his 80's, presented to have sutures (stitches) removed from
his thumb.
He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I
(nurse) took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be
over an hour before someone would to able to see him.
I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with
another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam it was well healed, so
I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his
sutures and redress his wound.
While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation. Asked
him if he had a doctor's appointment this morning somewhere else, as he was
in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the
nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.
I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a
while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer Disease.
As we talked, and I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be
worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he
was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.
I was surprised, and asked him. "And you are still going every morning,
even though she doesn't know who you are?" He smiled as he patted my hand
and said. "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."
I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and
thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."
True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of
all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.
Good friends are like stars...You don't always see them, but you always
know they're there


STORY 3

The passengers on the bus watched sympathetically as the attractive young
woman with the white cane made her way carefully up the steps. She paid the
driver and, using her hands to feel the location of the seats, walked down
the aisle and found the seat he'd told her was empty. Then she's settled
in, placed her briefcase on her lap and rested her cane against her leg.
It had been a year since Susan became blind. Due to a medical misdiagnosis
she had been rendered sightless, and she was suddenly thrown into a world
of darkness, anger, frustration and self-pity. 'How could this have
happened to me?' she would plead, her heart knotted with anger. But no
matter how much she cried or ranted or prayed, she knew the painful truth,
her sight was never going to return. A cloud of depression hung over
Susan's once optimistic spirit. All she had to cling to was her husband
Mark.
Mark was an Air Force officer and he loved Susan with all his heart. When
she first lost her sight, he watched her sink into despair and was
determined to help his wife gain the strength she needed to become
independent again.
Finally, Susan felt ready to return to her job, but how would she get
there? She used to take the bus, but was now too frightened to get around
the city by herself. Mark volunteered to drive her to work each day, even
though they worked at opposite ends of the city. At first, this comforted
Susan and fulfilled Mark's need to protect his sightless wife who was so
insecure about performing the slightest task. Soon, however Mark realized
that this arrangement wasn't working - it was hectic, and costly.
Susan is going to have to start taking the bus again, he admitted to
himself. But just the thought of mentioning it to her made him cringe. She
was still so fragile, so angry. How would she react? Just as Mark
predicted, Susan was horrified at the idea of taking the bus again. "I'm
blind!" she responded bitterly. "How am I supposed to know where I'm going?
I feel like you're abandoning me."
Mark's heart broke but he knew what had to be done. He promised
Susan that each day he would ride the bus with her until she got
the hang of it.
And that is exactly what happened. For two solid weeks, Mark, military
uniform and all, accompanied Susan to and from work each day. He taught her
how to rely on her other senses to determine where she was and how to adapt
to her new environment. He helped her befriend the bus drivers who could
watch out for her, and save her a seat. Each morning they made the journey
together, and Mark would take a cab back to his office.
Although this routine was even more costly and exhausting than the previous
one, Mark knew it was only a matter of time before Susan would be able to
ride the bus on her own. Finally, Susan decided that she was ready to try
the trip on her own. Monday morning arrived, and before she left, she threw
her arms around Mark, her temporary bus riding companion, her husband, and
her best friend. Her eyes filled with tears of gratitude for his loyalty,
his patience, his love. She said good-bye, and for the first time, they
went their separate ways. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.... Each day
on her own went perfectly, and Susan had never felt better.
On Friday morning, Susan took the bus to work as usual. As she was paying
for her fare to exit the bus, the driver said, "Boy, I sure envy you."
Susan wasn't sure if the driver was speaking to her or not. After all, who
on earth would ever envy a blind woman who had struggled just to find the
courage to live for the past year? "Why do you envy me?"
The driver responded, "It must feel so good to be taken care of and
protected like you are." Susan had no idea what the driver was talking
about, "What do you mean?" The driver said, "You know, every morning for
the past week, a fine looking gentleman in a military uniform has been
standing across the corner watching you when you get off the bus. He makes
sure you cross the street safely and he watches you until you enter your
office building. Then he blows you a kiss, gives you a little salute and
walks away. You are one lucky lady."
Tears of happiness poured down Susan's cheeks. For although she couldn't
see him, she had always felt Mark's presence. She was blessed, so blessed,
for he had given her a gift more powerful than sight, a gift she didn't
need to see to believe - the gift of love that can bring light where there
had been darkness.
"You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful
because you love her..."
So if you love someone be faithful to that person.

STORY 4

From the very beginning, girl's family objected strongly on her dating this
guy, saying that it has got to do with family background, & that the girl
will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.
Due to family's pressure, the couple quarreled very often. Though the girl
loved the guy deeply, she always asked him: "How deep is love for me?"
As the guy is not good with his words, this often caused the girl to be
very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vents her
anger on him. As for him, he only endured it in silence.
After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his
studies overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl:
"I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you
allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your
family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?" The girl
agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed
to let them get married. So before he left, they got engaged. The girl went
out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his
studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it was
hard, but both never thought of giving up.
One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a
car that lost control. when she woke up, she saw her parents beside her
bed.. She realized that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she
wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her
mouth was just a sigh. she had lost her voice....
The doctor says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her
voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from
her, she broke down. During the stay in hospital, besides silence
cry,..it's still just silence cry that accompanied her. Upon reaching
home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the
phone. Which pierced into her heart every it rang. She does not wish
to let the guy know & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter
to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer.
With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions
& millions of reply, countless of phonecalls,.. all the girl could do,
besides crying, is still crying.... The parents decided to move away,
hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy.
With a new environment, the girl learns sign language & started a new life.
Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend
came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know
what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.
A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing a
invitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she
open the letter, she saw her name in it instead. When she was about to ask
her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her.
He used sign language to tell her "I've spent a year to learn sign
language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me
have the chance to be your voice. I Love You." With that, he slipped the
ring back into her finger. The girl finally smiled.
Treat every relationship as if it's the last one, then you'll know how to
Give. Treat every moment as is it's the last day, then you'll know how to
treasure. Treasure what you have right now, or else you will regret one day...

(stories, short stories, enema stories, diaper stories, free taboo stories, adult stories, today's top news stories, international news stories, funny news stories, story ideas, toy story 2, love stories, googlenews, world news headlines, word search program, romantic stories, story of the world, greatest story ever told, life story, sad story, the news times, word search puzzle making, build word search, novels, poems, poetry, writing, storytelling, literature, bedtime story, radiata stories, westside story.famous quotes, inspirational quotes, motivational quotes, stock quotes, friendship quotes, movie quotes, quotes about life, birthday quotes, wedding quotes, family guy quotes, mark twain quotes, quotes on life, famous movie quotes, dane cook quotes, famous inspirational quotes, famous inspirational quotes, auto quote)

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He Asked Symonds

He Asked Hayden

He Asked Kaif Too

At Last got frm Harbhajan

At Last got frm Harbhajan

Thanks Bhajji

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