BOLLYWOOD MOVIES WITH MARATHI NAMES

IF THESE MOVIES WERE DUBBED IN MARATHI....

I am sure that you must have seen these movies:
KUCH KUCH HOTA HAI
MACHIS, HOLLOW MAN
DIE ANOTHER DAY
SUPERMAN
SCORPIO KING
THE MUMMY
THE MUMMY RETURNS

Now just scroll down and see what could be their names if you want to dubb them in Marathi and relaunch



KUCH KUCH HOTA HAI............. KASATARI HOTAY

MACHIS................................................. KADIPETI

KAUN THI.......................KON HOTI RE TI

HOLLOW MAN..........................POKAL MANUS

DIE ANOTHER DAY................NANTAR KADHITARI MAR

GONE WITH THE WIND.............GELA UDAT

SUPERMAN....................... LAI BHARI MANUS

SCORPIO KING ...................TATYA VINCHU

THE MUMMY .........................AAI

&

THE MUMMY RETURNS..............AAI PARAT AALI

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NEWTON'S LAWS OF ROMANCE

Newton in romantic mood......

Universal law:

"Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer

from

One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money "

First law:

"A boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl

in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless

any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and

break the legs of the boy. "

Second law:

"The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is

directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and

the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the

bank balance. "

Third law:

"The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and

opposite to the force applied by the girl while slap.

BENEFITS OF DRINKING

A Common message to everyone who says drinking is bad. Here are the advantages of each brand that people drink.

DCSL EXTRA SPECIAL	Protects your heart	prevents constipation	Blocks diarrhea	Improves lung capacity	Cushions joints
WHITE DIAMOND	Combats cancer	Controls blood pressure	Saves your eyesight	Shields against Alzheimer's	Slows aging process
BLUE LABEL	Aids digestion	Lowers cholesterol	Protects your heart	Stabilizes blood sugar	Guards against liver disease
DOUBLE DISTILLED	Battles diabetes	Lowers cholesterol	Helps stops strokes	Controls blood pressure	Smoothes skin
OLD RESERVE	Protects your heart	Quiets a cough	Strengthens bones	Controls blood pressure	Blocks diarrhea
RITZ	Prevents constipation	Helps hemorrhoids	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Stabilizes blood sugar
RICHORT	Controls blood pressure	Combats cancer	Strengthens bones	Protects your heart	Aids weight loss
HANNEPIER	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Stabilizes blood sugar	Boosts memory	Prevents constipation
FRANKLIN	Strengthens bones	Saves eyesight	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Controls blood pressure
VSO	Combats cancer	Prevents constipation	Promotes weight loss	Protects your heart	Helps hemorrhoids
GALLERY	Saves eyesight	Controls blood pressure	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Supports immune system
RED RUM	Saves eyesight	Protects your heart	Prevents constipation	Combats cancer	Promotes weight loss
DARK RUM	Protects against Prostate Cancer	Combats Breast Cancer	Strengthens bones	Banishes bruises	Guards against heart disease
HANSEN	Protects your heart	Combats Cancer	Ends insomnia	Slows aging process	Shields against Alzheimer's
BLACK WHITE	Promotes weight loss	Protects your heart	Lowers cholesterol	Combats Cancer	Controls blood pressure
RED LABEL	Aids digestion	Soothes sore throat	Clears sinuses	Combats Cancer	Boosts immune system
BLACK LABEL	Promotes weight loss	Helps stops strokes	Lowers cholesterol	Combats Cancer	Controls blood pressure
GOLD LABEL	Protects your heart	Boosts memory	Protects your heart	Combats Cancer	Supports immune system
CHIVAS REGAL	Aids digestion	Battles diabetes	Protects your heart	Improves mental health	Boosts immune system
GRANTS	Lowers cholesterol	Controls blood pressure	Combats cancer	kills bacteria	Fights fungus
GREEN LABEL	Protects against heart attacks	Promotes Weight loss	Helps stops strokes	Combats Prostate Cancer	Lowers cholesterol
REMUS MARTIN	saves eyesight	Conquers kidney stones	Combats cancer	Enhances blood flow	Protects your heart
V&A	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Helps stops strokes	Promotes Weight loss	Kills bacteria
NAPOLEON	Heals wounds	Aids digestion	Guards against ulcers	Increases energy	Fights allergies
MENDIS	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Controls blood pressure	Smoothes skin	Stops scurvy
LEMON GIN	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Controls blood pressure	Smoothes skin	Stops scurvy
ORANGE GIN	Combats cancer	Boosts memory	Regulates thyroid	aids digestion	Shields against Alzheimer's
WHITE GIN	Controls blood pressure	Lowers cholesterol	Kills bacteria	Combats cancer	Strengthens bones
DRY GIN	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Battles diabetes	prevents constipation	Smoothes skin
CLASIC RUM	Protects your heart	Promotes Weight loss	Combats cancer	Battles diabetes	Smoothes skin
VODKA	Reduce risk of heart attack	Combats cancer	Kills bacteria	Lowers cholesterol	Fights fungus
SMIRNOFF	Supports immune systems	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Straightens respiration
GALETINE	prevents constipation	Combats cancer	Helps stops strokes	aids digestion	Helps hemorrhoids
GOLD COIN	Protects against heart disease	Promotes Weight loss	Combats Prostate Cancer	Lowers cholesterol	Aggravates diverticulitis
BACARDI	Strengthens bones	Relieves colds	Aids digestion	Dissolves warts	Blocks diarrhea
WHITE RUM	Slows aging process	prevents constipation	boosts memory	Lowers cholesterol	Protects against heart disease
ILICITY ARACK	Protects your heart	Battles diabetes	Conquers kidney stones	Combats cancer	Helps stops strokes
POT ARRACK	Combats cancer	Protects your heart

1 LINE HUMOUR

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

[16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something

[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!

[22] Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.

[23]Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

[24]Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

[25]It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

[26]There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

[27]There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!

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Overconfidence

It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.


The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Flowers." "That's right!" the boy said,


"But, how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said.


The next pupil was the sweet shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets."




"That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.


The next gift was from the son of the liquor storeowner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop off the leakage with her finger and put it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked.


"No," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process, tasting a larger drop of the leakage. "Is it champagne?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more big taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?"
.
.
.
With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"

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Funny Story - WHY I FIRED MY SECRETARY

Presenting one more small & funny story...
Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up onthat morning..
I went downstairs for breakfasthoping my wife would be pleasant and say,'Happy Birthday!',and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out,she barely said good morning,let alone ' Happy Birthday.'
I thought....
Well, that's marriage for you,but the kids...They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfastand didn't say a word..So when I left for the office,I felt pretty lowand somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office,my secretary Jane said,'Good Morning Boss,and by the wayHappy Birthday ! 'It felt a little betterthat at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o'clock ,when Jane knocked on my doorand said, 'You know,It's such a beautiful day outside,and it is your Birthday,what do you say we go out to lunch,just you and me..'I said, 'Thanks, Jane,that's the greatest thingI've heard all day.Let's go !'
We went to lunch.But we didn't gowhere we normally would go.She chose instead at a quiet bistrowith a private table.We had two martinis eachand I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office,Jane said, 'You know,It's such a beautiful day...We don't need to go straight back to the office,Do We ?'
I responded,'I guess not.What do you have in mind ?'She said,'Let's drop by my apartment,it's just around the corner..'
After arriving at her apartment,Jane turned to me and said, ' Boss, if you don't mind,I'm going to step into the bedroomfor just a moment.I'll be right back.''Ok.' I nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and,after a couple of minutes,she came outcarrying a huge birthday cake ...Followedby my wife,my kids,and dozens of my friendsand co-workers,all singing 'Happy Birthday'.
And I just sat there....
On the couch... Naked.

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FOUR WIVES

There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.
He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He's very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.
He too, loved his 2nd wife. She is a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant's confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.
Now, the merchant's 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.
One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, "Now I have 4 wives with me.. But when I die, I'll be alone. How lonely I'll be!"
Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.
The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant's heart. The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is so good over here! I'm going to remarry when you die!" The merchant's heart sank and turned cold.
He then asked the 2nd wife, "I always turned to you for help and you've always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.
Then a voice called out : "I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, "I should have taken much better care of you while I could have !"

Moral : Actually, we all have 4 wives in our lives

A. The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.

B. Our 3rd wife ? Our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.

C. The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.

D. The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material, wealth and sensual pleasure.


Guess what?
It is actually the only thing that follows us wherever we go.
Perhaps it's a good idea to cultivate and strengthen it now rather than to wait until we're on our deathbed to lament.

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TAX STRUCTURE IN INDIA

1) GOVT. : What are you doing?
INDIAN : Business.
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!

2) GOVT. : What are you doing in Business?
INDIAN : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!

3) GOVT. : From where are you getting Goods?
INDIAN : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!

4) GOVT. : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
INDIAN : Profit.
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!

5) GOVT. : How do you distribute profit ?
INDIAN : By way of dividend
Tax : Pay dividend distribution Tax

6) GOVT. : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
INDIAN : Factory.
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!

7) GOVT. : Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?
INDIAN : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

8) GOVT. : Do you have Staff?
INDIAN : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!

9) GOVT. : Doing business in Millions?
INDIAN : Yes
Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!
INDIAN : No
Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax

10) GOVT. : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
INDIAN : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

11) GOVT.: Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
INDIAN : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

12) GOVT.: Are you going Out of Station for Business?
INDIAN : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!

13) GOVT.: Have you taken or given any Service/s?
INDIAN : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!

14) GOVT.: How come you got such a Big Amount?
INDIAN : Gift on birthday.
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!

15) GOVT.: Do you have any Wealth?
INDIAN : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!

16) GOVT..: To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
INDIAN : Cinema or Resort.
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

17) GOVT.: Have you purchased House?
INDIAN : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !

18) GOVT.: How you Travel?
INDIAN : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE!

19) GOVT.: Any Additional Tax?
INDIAN : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE
CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!

20) GOVT.: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
INDIAN : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!

21) INDIAN : can i die now??
GOVT : Wait! we are about to launch the FUNERAL TAX!!!

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LESSONS TO BE LEARNT FROM MARWADIS

God & Marwadi...!!

A Marwadi having no child, no money, no home, and have a blind mother, prays to God.

God being happy with his prays, grants him only ONE wish!

Marwadi : I want my mother to see my wife putting Diamond bangles on my Child's hands in our new home!

God : Damn !!! I still have a lot to learn from these Marwadi's

Lessons learnt from the above story:-Compile all requirements and present in one line rather boring appraiser for long time.

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